31.12.2013

Disclaimer: This post contain nothing that is relevant to you, so you can just skip this and do something else that worth your time. Heh.

Heyyy! Finally it's the last day of 2013! Been really busy since last week with Xmas and my bday. Very happening but really, I spent every single minute of the week feeling loved. What else can I wish for? *love sigh.

In another 11 hours it's 2014 and I'm turning 24! *gasps. So this gonna be the last post for 2013.

Overall 2013 have been a good year for me, with lots of ups and downs but it's amazing. *smile. How someone can lift your mood up when you're feeling down and when things were getting hard to handle. I'm blessed with all the good people in my life.

I'm really thankful for all the things and people that made my life better. I can foresee 2014 will be a great year too. Can't wait for next year to come. I have a lot of things to anticipate and look forward to that will hopefully change my life for the better. Heh.

So let's welcome 2014 and enjoy every single day of it!

My all-time-favourite song

12.12.13

Hello people of the world! 2013 gonna end soon and finally it's time to summarize what I've did and achieved this year.

Let's see my resolutions for this year that I've came up with in February. You can read it up here.

1. Graduate with second lower class. - done.
2. Maintain my weight. - done.
3. Go for grad trip! - done.
4. Find an office job. - done.
5. Get a bf! 
6. Put braces!! - done.
7. Get sg driving license! 

OMGGGG! I realised I managed to tick almost everything off this list ehhh!

1. I REALLY, ACTUALLY, MANAGED TO GRADUATE WITH SECOND LOWER!! *Screams and run around. Always thought it's mission impossible for me, but I actually did it! *insert happy face. Can't tell you how excited I was and still am now. Totally worth all the time and effort I put in (plus the dramas I didn't get to watch and the life I've missed). Life back then was really depressing and stressful, I even had weird dreams. Oh well, I always had them but I can't remember them as well as I used to be before I started working.

2. After putting braces, I lose a lot, a lot of weight. So I didn't actually maintain my weight lahhh. But but, I'm really happy with my current weight now. So yeah, the lighter the better.

3. I went to BKK with xianwen around August, but I didn't have time to blog about it yet and I doubt I will in the near future, so yeah, let's see when I'll have the mood to blog a long, long post on that.

4. Sigh. I did managed to get an office job and I finally understand what people meant when they say schooling and working are 2 different phrases in life. 外面的世界是很恐怖的. *nods nods. I totally agree. Never like working over schooling but I can't possibly stay as a student throughout my entire life right? Right. So I'm still trying to get used to it. Btw, Next Monday mark the sixth month of my working life. Time really flies fast.

5. I didn't really mean it when I wrote this down, is just something I don't have at that time when I'm blogging and I thought I should just write it down so I'll have something more to achieve this year. So yes, I'm still single enjoying life alone and doing things I love that will make me happy.

6. OMG OMG OMG. Read here.

7. Didn't managed to convert over because I didn't have time to go back JPJ (Jabatan Pengangkutan Jalan) which is Malaysian road transport department, to fill up a form to surrender my Malaysia licence after passing my BTT test in Singapore. But I really have to go back soon to convert. I'm going to pass this resolution to next year again. HAHAHA.

Okay, finally I'm done blogging. Working really kill my passion to blog like seriously, makes me wonder how people can juggle their time being part time blogger and full time OL. I don't really have a life that worth the time blogging it down. Every time I feel like blogging, I ended up staring hard at the laptop blankly or just give in to the latest korean drama. I'm currently watching The Heirs now. Lee Min Ho and Kim Won Bin were my initial reason to why I'll choose to watch this. But now, I seriously think Park Shin Hye is the main reason why I'm still watching this, she really super pretty! (btw, I'm at episode 9 now). The story is just mehhh, it's not even addictive that makes me wanna stay up all night and skip work to watch this. Maybe I'm getting older and am no longer the teenage girl I used to be? But but, no lahhh, I'm not someone who will skip work because of an addictive drama, or am I? HAHAHAHA.

Ohya, another thing that keeps me away from blogging is my Korean class every Friday after work! It's fun taking up another new language but this really need a lot of practice in order to master it. Oh no! Just remember I haven't touch my homework for this week and there's class tomorrow. Geerrr, see see, I need to put in more effort! Going Westgate with Xianwen later after work to explore the new mall that opened at JE. Ahhh, I need more time!

So that's all. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Reason?

"Do you need  a reason to like someone?"

"Hmm, I think I needed a reason at first, but after awhile I'll forget what the reason is and continue to fall for him without a reason."

And yes, that's how forgetful I am.

A little fantasy.

Lift your head up high,

Let the sun shine on your face.

Hold your hand in mine,

Let us wonder what's over the fence.

Walk right next to me,

Let's find our way through this maze.

And when I'm ready enough, 

Let our story be a masterpiece.

I'm stuck.

So please, somebody save me.

Fast update.

Hey people of the world! I'm back but this gonna be a short post cause I'm heading out soon for dinner and I'm still in my tee and shorts. Booo.

Anyways, this week was really a no-work week for me. Took MC on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. Lucky you said? I was coughing my lungs out and I lost my voice. Can't remember when was the last time I suffered from coughing this badly, till the point that I gave up talking. Mehhhhh. But I get to rest 5/7 days this week!! Mad happy I tell you, woke up everyday around 8am, lazed and rolled around till noon, leave bed, had simple breakfast, went out to Raffles Medical (nearest to me is at Jurong East) to visit doc and get MC, went home took med, sleep again, woke up, shower and eat then sleep some more till the next morning. I called this pure happiness - simple things that made me happy.

Too bad I'm not in my own room. Sigh. Grandparents came and I have to give up my room. Not really complaining but.. I really need more rest, can't sleep well when I'm sleeping with my sis, and she feels me too. Both of us look like zombies in the morning. Oh well, shall not rant anymore. It's not like they gonna be staying here permanently.

So, on the days I'm working (Tuesday and Friday), I spent most of my time coughing. Like literally. Work life getting better now. I've been feeling really happy lately, no longer sad/down. Depression left me for good and now I'm grateful for everything that made me smile/laugh. 

OMG. Look at the time now. It's almost 1715 already?! *panic panic Okay. I gtg le. Byeee. *poof. 

PS: Life's too short to think about the far future, so let's just live now, the present, at this moment, happily.

Demons.

They say it's what you make

I say it's up to fate

It's woven in my soul

I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright

I want to save their light

I can't escape this now

Unless you show me how

Love.

*smile

I'm Cinderella.

So I was walking alone under some void deck, I don't know where. I heard footsteps behind me and I knew it was you even without looking back, how I know? I don't know, I just know. HAHAHAHA.

Anyways, since I knew you were behind me and was bound to be looking at my back, I tried to walk as gracefully as I could, like some super model (or so I thought). Then after a few steps I heard you calling out my name, "Wenqi, stop, STOP!!"

"Whoa, Wenqi, you're doing it right, you caught his attention liao but don't stop, don't look back, continue walking." I thought to myself and continue my so-called "cat-walk" while laughing like a manic in my head.

So you started running (I don't know why I walked so fast, you had to run to catch up), and when you stopped in front of me with your right hand on my left shoulder for support, you were panting with your head down like you ran 5 kilometers (I think you need to exercise more dude). I faked a shocked face "oh?" (ya, call me a faker or whatever) while we waited for you to recover and explain your action.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Waitttttt." *panting panting.

"Oh."

Another 5 minutes.

*Panting panting.

....

I rolled my eyes. I'm so sorry I can't help it.

And so after what seem like forever (please imagine the background with trees and their leaves turned from green to brown and got blew away by the wind and fell onto the ground), you asked:" Why you walked so fast?"

"Huh, got meh?" *Flashed a shy smile.

Then you took something out that you've been holding in your left hand from behind your back, I looked at it and looked at you. I looked down at my feet. I looked back at the thing you're holding, and I looked at you. You looked at me looking at what you're holding and looked back at you before looking down at my feet and looked back at what you're holding and then back at you.

I'm confused. What happened? How did this happened?

You were holding my .. shoe. Ya, shoe without "s" because you were holding my left shoe. Actually it was my heel. A 5 inches tall heel. OMG. O.O

"Wait." I said while giving you a confused face.

You understood my confusion and awkwardly holding my 5 inches heel patiently.

Then I looked down at my naked foot. How long have I been shoeless? (I know this is not a word, but I can't think of any other word already). While I'm still stuck in my confusion, something strike me, and I wanna dig a hole to bury myself, NO, just kill me instead because the question - how did I managed to walked with one heel (limping, I guess?) and how hilarious I must be while I attempted the so-called "cat-walk" with only one heel? Oh no, oh no, oh no. He must be thinking that this girl must be so blur and dumb to not realised that one of her heel fell off and what's more, she must be deaf too cause he was shouting but I IGNORED him. How pathetic can I be??

BUT THEN!

You knelt down slowly and gentlemanly tried to help me with my heel. Then I realised "Hey, I can wear heels eh! and awwwwwwwwwwww, you're so cute can." While looking down at you trying to figure out how to buckle my heel for me, I tried to think of what to say when you looked up, and then


...

I woke up. 

Dammmmnnnnnnn. What kind of dream is this?? Actually I had this dream when I was 15 y/o, form 3, so forgive me for my bimbo-ness ok? Anyways, 'you' used to be my eye candy for a year and the next day I saw 'you' in school, I felt so embarrassed that I can't even looked 'you' in the eye and said hi. This dream was so vivid that after so many years, I couldn't forget it and will still laughed at it.

So I guessed I'm Cinderella in my dream but too bad, my prince charming was someone with a weak body. Boooo.

 

I'm a lazy girl.

I have a lot, a lot to update but I seriously don't have the mood to upload pictures and/or to blog about it. 

Now on my list are : 

1. Bkk trip with xw.

2. Officially graduate when results released.

3. Batam trip with colleagues.

4. I had another vivid dream.

5. I don't know, maybe some recent updates about work? 

Okay, gtg now. Bye readers.

EXO Growl.

Guys who know music instrument and can dance, look so sexyyy.

Tight rope walking.

This is my first time walking on a tight rope. 

It's been really shaky nowadays while I tried my best to continue walking straight. I don't know where the end of the rope will bring me to and I can't see clearly with all the smoke surrounding me, blocking my view and blurring my vision. I have nothing to hold on to and I can barely balance myself from the first day I decided to walk on this rope. I know I'm all by myself and am doing something I'm not good at. I'm making myself more vulnerable each day by taking into others' comments seriously. I'm lost and I'm thinking whether I should just relax, close my eyes and let myself fall ... fall into the safety net that will keep me safe from the falling impact. And then I'll get to start all over again. 

The wind have been blowing really strong these days, trying to blow me down or to make me stronger, I don't know. Some days I will stop and think why did I choose to walk on such path that I'm not even sure I'll be seeing breath-taking scenery or another tight rope at the end of this rope. But I can't turn back now, there's only 2 choices, either stop moving and be prepared to fall by myself or continue walking and get blow off balance and can only scream while I fall. But maybe, maybe I will be able to survive walking till the end of the rope? I don't know how high the chances will be but that would means I'll have to brave through the smoke, wind while taking a small step each time with my stiffed and tired body and also accumulating stress at the same time. Can I do it? I wonder.

I keep hearing people telling me that I should choose a safer rope to walk on. A slightly shorter rope or of a shorter height. This rope is just too high up above and too long, not everyone can take it. What's more I'm too blur, careless and clumsy. Every little mistakes I made seem so significant that makes me panic about losing balance. I looked around me at others who are at such a high place with me and they seem to be walking with ease. Am I the only one not adapting even after so long? Or am I just not suitable to do this. Am I  the only one suffering from the fear of making mistakes every passing day? Every step I take I'll doubt myself if I did the correct thing, or did I miss out something? I guess there's too much to take note and take care of and it's getting harder for me.

Maybe I'm just scared of admitting I've made the wrong decision. Or maybe I wanted to prove my own ability, if I have any. Maybe I'm just lost and gonna stay lost up here till my vision cleared and I can step away from here walking towards somewhere I know that will worth all the hard work I've put in. 

I don't know how long I can stay up here but one thing for sure is that I've definitely learnt something. Or maybe a handful of them. I think I won't regret choosing this path because I get to take a good look at myself. 

I don't know what I want but if I were to leave this rope by myself, I'll know this is what I don't want, at least for now.

PS: Maybe I'm not grown up and prepared enough to be facing this. 

Stay strong.

and ..

This is a note to myself.

PS: This is not the end, it will be another beginning. 

Pre-bangkok trip post!

I’m in my office now so this is gonna be a really short post. Gonna fly to Bangkok in about 22 hours? Super excited and I can’t wait to shop and eat all I want!! It’s my first time going on a holiday with my friend, yes friend because there’s only 1 friend going with me. Lucky I’m going with her because she really took care of everything nicely and all I need to do is to just pack and follow her. I’m born a follower and she’s a leader type of person that’s why we get along very well though we’re totally opposite in different ways. This is going to be a 5D4N short getaway (oh well maybe not really short but I’m sure time will pass super fast and in no time I’ll be back in the office again, LOL).

Results was supposed to release today but due to what administrative procedures they have to postpone it to Friday and I don’t know if I should feel relieved or more anxious as I’m still in bkk on Friday and I doubt I’ll be able to check my results there. Sigh. Why like that? On the day before I fly already very mood spoiling and now in the middle of my holiday… but let’s not think about it too negatively. I’ll be able to graduate this year! *cross fingers.

Okay, gtg now. Wish me luck okay!! Byeee.

AOA - Moya

Didn't really like them when they first debuted with Elvis but this song is so catchy that I can't get it off my head now!! I totally heart that young guy in the MV. But he looked so awkward and out of the place, don't you agree? Like he's too young to be there flirting with another girl who looked somehow older than him. LOL. But that ending is really not bad, quite funny xia. That short blonde hair girl, YouKyung look really cool but too bad she didn't get a chance to sing. That's the problem with korean idol group, too many people and anyhow allocate parts for them to sing that some don't even get a single line. Tsk tsk.

Okay, 2 posts today. Super free because there's 4 days long weekend this week. Now it's time to watch 冲上云霄2. Byeeee.

This is awkwardly weird.

I saw myself being reflected in your eyes and I'm amazed by it. You stopped talking when you realised I've been staring at your eyes (for too, too long), not paying attention to what you're saying anymore. I wanted to look away but I didn't. Suddenly I felt the urge to do something so I leaned closer to you slowly/cautiously but you looked puzzled and even tried to backed away. "Just once." I whispered without breaking eye contact. You frowned and looked like you're struggling with your inner self. I can't move or breathe before you make up your mind. Time froze. Then suddenly you closed your eyes and ...

 

I smiled.

这是什么梦来的!! Had this dream on the night I went drinking with colleagues. Must be the aftereffect of the alcohol. 搞得我神志不清. LOL. This is the first time I dream about you, let's just hope this will be the last too, if not I doubt my frail heart can take all these any longer.

So that's all, byeeee.

王赴穎 & 沈展寧 分開以後

Reminds me of you.

Weekly update.



Hello people of the world, I'm back! Super, super busy plus tired recently that's why the lack of updates. Anyway, this weekend was really.. hmm happening? Though there's still few hours left to the end of today but this week was really a happy week filled with laughter.

 

Tuesday

Went Clarke Quay to meet xy for dinner after work and to update each other. In another 4 months we can celebrate knowing-each-other-for-10-years anniversary already. HAHAHA. Can't believe we first know each other when we're 14. Omg, don't remind me I'm getting older, I know i know.

 

Wednesday

Went Bugis with lingli to accompany her to shop after work. But ended up buying clothes too. This is really getting out of control. I just can't stop myself from buying stuff whenever I went out. Oh no, I'm leaving to BKK in 10 days I need to cease all shopping!

 

Thursday

Nothing happened, went home early, sleep early. I likey.

 

Friday

Went Orgo @ Esplanade roof top to have a drink with my colleagues to celebrate the end of peak period. I know I can't drink so I only took a little slip every now and then but still ended up getting tipsy. Can't really remember everything that happened. Only managed to recall a little after I drank water or something and felt my brain working as per normal again. I'm not gonna drink again!! LOL. I've been saying that since I got drunk the first time when I'm 16. I'm not a drinker but I kept thinking I'll be able to know where my limit is and stop drinking but every time by the time I felt my temperature rising, is too late. Thanks SL, SY, WB for looking after me when I'm half gone. LOL. Went home after I felt better and by the time I reached home it's almost 1.30am. But I still managed to wake up few hours later at 7.30am to go for tuition. Not bad har?

 

Left to right. Top: SL, me!, queency, nicco, xiaoyan, eunice, wendy, lingli, SY, WB, ah choo, bernard. Floor: robin, jeff.

 

Cabbed home with lingli and ah choo.

Saturday

So after tuition (suffered from slight hangover throughout the 2 hours), went home and napped for 20 minutes before getting ready to leave house to Bugis to meet the sisters (SL,SY). They accompanied me to Toast box for a light lunch before we shopped (AGAIN) at Bugis Street. Then we went to their house and waited while they dropped their shopping buys at home and leave to East Coast Park for BBQ with the colleagues plus ex-colleagues. It was soooo windy that there's no one moment my hair was not in a mess. Felt really fatigued and as if my body gonna breakdown soon but it was really fun! They BBQ-ed and I just eat, fun right?? My favourite food is BBQ-ed marshmallow. How can anyone resist that mouthful of pure sweetness. LOL. Had about 6-8 of them and it made me so 幸福! HAHAHA. I call this the happy food. So we went home around 10 plus and took cab with James and lingli to JE then trained back to BL with lingli. I seriously like taking cab with colleagues. It like the only time we talk about stuff they won't tell me when we're in the office or with a lot of people. It's like a heart-to-heart talk session. From now on, cab will be the best place to gossip LOL.  

 



Left to right. Top: Jeffery, SL, SY. Middle: lingli, queency. Bottom: WB, me!, nicco. 

The guy with the cutest smile, James. SEE MY HAIR?

 

SL.

SY.

Da Ta! That's pretty much all updated about my week. Had too much fun this week, I can feel I'm going to feel really blue for work tomorrow. So that's all, byeeeee.

 

PS: Stop doing things that makes me wonder why.

Today is a happy, happy day!

 I'm eating Mcd while blogging now. Bite sized fries plus nuggets. That's how I eat, and I can only eat it at home because after my first tightening session last Saturday, my front teeth got so tight that it's even harder to eat than before. But nvm, I understand 爱美是要付出代价的.

Well, anyway, last weekend was really crazy and insanely fun! Went to Wilber Pan's concert on Saturday night with carmel, qilu and zhiping (the usual 听华语歌 clique), free tickets thanks to carmel's cousin, and that was so so so FUN and heno was so so so 帅!! He debuted 10 years ago and I started listening to his songs when I'm 14, does that makes me his 'loyal' fan? LOL. No la, I just listen to some of his 情歌, but he's more to the rapper type of singer so I don't really know a lot of his songs. Plus he sang a lot upbeat songs during his concert that I can't possibly rap along so I really just stared at him. There's one thing I wanna clarify is that he can sing live lo!! Who say he can't!! 能唱能跳, whoaaaaaaa! Going to his concert makes me feel like I'm back to my student days. So young, wild and free? HAHAHAHA. Not say I don't like my life now, is just that somehow I'm no longer that happy every day.

But but but, today is a happy day!! Not gonna say why but today I'm seriously happy. Maybe the happiest day I had in the 1 month plus of my working life. No joke. Hope everyday will be like today. Yesterday sucks ttm. 

Okay, back to the weekend update, wanted to take picture of wilber during the concert since he was just 6 rows away from me IF he walk to the extented-T-shaped-stage (don't know what's that called but anyway, you get what I mean? If you don't then too bad.), but my phone actually died on me, I can't believe it. So disappointed with my 2 years 8 months iphone that I decided to abandon it and buy a new one. And so I bought a new one the next day! Note 2 with my sis. Our phone really no medicine can cure already. Okay okay, back to wilber, when he walked towards us, everyone just crowd around just to be as near to him as possible. It's so crazy!! But I can't use my phone to take picture! It just turned all black and I can't do anything with it! Imagine holding up your phone but the camera's not working and people at the back just happened to look at your blacked-screen-phone and wonder what are you going to do with it holding up so high. HAHAHAHAHA.  Super regret not bringing my camera with me. Totally forgot about it.

Omg, super tired now, there's a lot more to update about but I'm really sleepy now. Woke up late 2 days in a row, not a good sign, gonna sleep early today. So pardon my broken English and byeeeee. 

PS: Being positive helps. 

Han Byul - I'll be there for you

*melts.

*sigh.

Very, very sad song.

I felt really depressed and suffocated this morning. Luckily I texted xw and after talking to her over the phone, I felt so much better. Went Raffles mrt toilet before heading to office because I seriously think I gonna break down anytime soon. Tried to clear my mind and tidied up all the messy feelings and thoughts so I'll be able to focus on my work today.

Leave office exactly at 6pm today because I don't really have a lot of urgent case to rush. Decided to go jogging since the last time I jogged was a month plus ago. Felt much much better after sweating and now I'm back to being the happy me again. Not gonna let other people words affect me.

Okay, tired ttm. Gonna crash. Byeee.

PS: I'm sorry but I tried my best.

Stay strong.

Yes, I'm learning.

Don't read this because it's just random ranting.

Unless you're bored because this is gonna be a real boring post about how I felt after working for a month.

Oh no, accidentally neglected my blog for 2 weeks, this is bad. Can't even find time to on my laptop when I'm home every day after I knocked off. Initially plan to take up Korean lesson around August or September but I seriously doubt I'll have time for that.

Things are really getting hectic for me at the moment. But colleagues are really nice, friendly and helpful. I totally like everyone. (Well frankly speaking I don't dislike or hate anyone, read why here) Can't even describe how grateful I felt whenever somebody teaches me something new or explains things to me in details. Even though I think some questions I asked was really dumb/stupid/ridiculous, but they still explained to me till I totally get it. They really save my life. Like literally. Can not imagine working without their help. This is the first time I've asked so many questions in a day. I've tried to figure out by myself but I can't risk making a big, big mistake so it's better to ask somebody. Got to unleash the shameless and thick-skinned self.

The only problem with work is that, I tend to pressurize myself too much till I seem to be in a constant panic mood. Am I too slow? Can I finish in time? Did I miss out something important? Am I the only one who's constantly asking for help? Why is this done this way? Must I do it this way too? When should I do this the other way? How do I get this figure? What should I do next? Why is this so complicated? HHHHHHEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!

...... Sometimes I just felt so lost. *sigh.

I don't know if any of my colleague will see this but if you happen to, I hope you were once like me too. Or maybe it's just me? I hope not. Then I'll feel slightly better thinking I'm not the only one feeling this way and I'll be able to work independently like you all one day. I seriously 佩服 and 崇拜 any one who can solve my problems or answer my questions. I really 想破头皮 but they somehow makes the answer to my question look so obvious and easy. WHOAAAAA! 好强. Well, you can see I'm really 激动 now because a lot of Chinese flew out randomly liao. HAHAHAHA.

Been getting lots of you-will-get-used-to-it-soon / it's-hard-at-first-so-don't-worried-too-much-now from my colleagues. Actually I think I'm improving (or so I thought) but there's seriously too much for me to learn. I MISS BEING A STUDENT! But can not! Or maybe can if I take part time courses. LOL.

But all in all, I still like my work because I'm sure I'll be thankful in future for persevering through all the hardship I'm suffering now. 先苦后甜嘛 right? YES, RIGHT.

Okay, I'm going to sleep now. Tomorrow will be a brand new day so be happy and stay happy. Byeeee.

 

PS: To everyone who helped me in whatever ways,

thank you, thank you, thank you.

Falling in love.

The queens are back with a not-their-usual-powerful-vocals-gonna-blow-you-away song! This is more like holiday feel and kinda soft? Feel like dancing some hawaii dance. You know? Like do wave and 扭来扭去. But I don't get the 'touch me over here, touch me over there' part of the song. My first reaction is HUH? 什么东西? Oh blackjacks please don't hate me, I still like this song, and Park Bom super hawttt can!

On side note, did you see Minzy's pink hair?!?!?! OMG! I WANNA DYE THAT COLOR SO FREAKING BADDD! Maybe I should get myself a wig. *sigh. Still not getting used being an OL.

I should blog more, but I'm really lazy and sleepy, and tired, and ...

Okay, byeee. *poof.

On repeat.

Still fight but I don't know why.

My 3 years birthday update!

Okay, finally I'm going to blog about my 22nd birthday surprise now. Fyi, my birthday is on the 28 dec. I know it's like almost 6 months ago but I really don't have the time and mood to blog about it until now.Well actually I still don't really know how and where to start but I keep telling myself I have to blog it so yeah, read on!

Ever since I came over to study in Singapore, I celebrated my birthday with surprises. Since my 20th, 21st and last year 22nd. On my 20th, I celebrated one day in advance at Carmel's house with my first clique of friends in Uni (carmel, xw, peggy, cheryl, qilu, zp). It's suppose to be a steamboat day but after I went back to carmel's room from the toilet before we were about to leave, they off the light and there's a cake in front of me. Super super touched can. Before I'm 20, I never celebrate my bday with friends because it's normally during school holidays and I'm never really the 'bday party' kind of girl. So that's my first surprise bday and I never expect my friends would surprise me like that. Read it here.

My 21st surprise bday happened 1 month before my bday. On the Nov 25th if I remembered correctly. I went back to Malaysia for 5 days and for what reason I've forgot but that week was really happening. I think I blogged about it but I can't find it in my post list! I guess I just forgot to blog or mention about it. LOL LOL. I have the tendency to keep forgetting to update. *rush over and dig my diary out. Okay, No worries, I've penned down everything in my diary so I have my memories all freshly preserved. No pic here because I'm really lazy to search for it in my FB plus I really looked horrible back then so if you're interested go find it yourself! Anyway, still remember on the day before the surprise, chiawei texted to ask me what I don't like to eat and I replied a whole list of food that I don't eat but I thought I was being a little too 夸张 and might shocked him so I told him I like spaghetti and chocolates the most. Trying to act like I'm just a normal girl that eats too because the list I texted him was really long, no joke. It's like I don't eat at all! LOL. So the next day around 2pm chiawei texted me saying he will come over and fetch me in the evening and we're going to have dinner together with the rest. I didn't ask him where we were going and he went to fetched evonne after me. We got caught in the jam heading somewhere near Time Square. The jam is really crazy we took 2 and a half hour to reach there instead of the usual 1 hour? Lucky evonne was with us in the car so we just chat randomly. The jam was tolerable when I'm with evonne. LOL. That was the period of time when I'm suffering from a little claustrophobia and being in the jam would cause minor panic attack. So yeah, when we reached there, cally, soon loong, nic, ernest was already there. So we went to a really fineplace (totally don't remember the name and the exact location). It looked like a small cozy cottage from the outside and they also bake and sell freshly made breads. Then I realised their main course was mainly spaghetti but since I'm suffering from really bad sore throat, I shared my favourite carbonara with Evonne. Then after I came back from the toilet, a chocolate cake appeared in front of my seat again. My first thought was *cough cough. OMG. Why must my favourite food be something that would worsen the condition of my throat. But still I'm super super touched and THAT'S REALLY UNEXPECTED. Who would expect they to purposely bring you out to celebrate your birthday 1 month in advance? And just when I thought that's all they prepared for me, evonne suddenly turned to cw and asked why the cake don't have wenqi's name? Then I looked at the cake and realised really don't have my name on it so I said it's okay la. I don't mind. Then I don't remember who said nah, lucky I bought wenqi's name out and he/she took out a box and urged me to open it. When I saw the box I totally stunned because I kind of guess what's in there and that overwhelming feeling was so great till I have to cover my mouth with my hand because I just can't close them. Super unglam. HAHAHA. I opened it and guess what I saw? A necklace with my name. That's the one I've been wearing till today. Cally, evonne, sl, cw, andre, and meng bought it for me. I hope I didn't miss out anyone. LOL. But seriously that's like the best present I've ever received in my life, till now. Now that I recall, I'm really blessed with friends. Even though I'm in Sg now, they never fail to meet me whenever I went back and that's like once a year? OMG. I'm going to cry le! *wipe away tears of happiness. Every day I looked at my necklace, it will reminds me of friends that I've know for 5 years and counting. Can't believe I only know them for my last year in secsch but somehow they became the few of my high school friends that are still in touch.

And oh on my actual birthday, I went out with my usual sim clique for a dinner at Nando's - Bugis. I really liked Nandos a lot when I'm in Malaysia but the price in sg and msia is roughly the same but of course sg is 2.4 times more expensive than malaysia so mehhhh, not gonna eat that as often anymore. Cause after that surprise celebration in Malaysia, I kept having the feeling that I've celebrated my 21st and on the actual day I really don't feel any thing special than the other 364 days in the year. LOL.

Oh no, I'm getting tired but I still have my 22nd birthday to blog!

Okay, so for the 22nd birthday, wenloong came over to Sg to surprise me! He pakat with my sis for the surprise and he really spoilt the market for my future bf lo (I'm going to have high expectation for my bday from now on, HAHAHA). Can't believe someone not my bf will come to me in person to celebrate with me. He reached sg on the 27th and came directly to my house with a cake. Okay la, for him, I'm going to post a pic. *go take a pic of the polariod using camera and transfer to com.

wenloong, the only guy who knew my darkest secret and vice versa. LOL

So I was in my room with xw, I asked her to come over to talk talk and then I heard my sis came home so I ignored that and continued talking with xw. Suddenly somebody knocked on the door and when I went to open it, wenloong was holding a cake and for the third time this post, I'm stunned again. But this time I managed to laugh out loud like a crazy woman because it just so unbelievable and he look so hilarious holding that small cake!! HAHAHA. So yeah, it's super touching for the third time again and I'm really glad that everyone remember I like chocolates and bought chocolate cake for me.

YAY! Finally I've blogged about my birthdaySSS. Can tick it off my to-blog-list. HAHAHA. Ever since I'm 17, there's one wish I kept constantly wishing on my bday and it came true for all the years till now. I will continue to wish for it to come true till I'm 60 years old or so. LOL. Curious about my wish? I'll tell you, is to remain young and don't age for the year. Judge me or not I don't care! I just don't wanna look old and mature! Oh well, I think the little girl in me had taken over my real age self so I still haven't have the adult feel even when I'm working and no longer is a student. LOLLOLLOL

I think I made a wise decision to blog now because this post really contain a lot of my happiness and makes me feel really happy and loved. Been stressing over work these few days and it's seriously affecting me. This is so not me, too much negativity lately. I need to find something that can keep me happy for awhile. Okay, I think sleep is the only remedy for now. Byeee.



I know ..

Officially a working adult.

First week at work is just mehhh.

Never in my life I've tried using my brain for 8 hours per day for 5 days straight. Being an audit assistant or according to my name card, I'm providing business advisory and assurance services, is really super exhausting, it's even worst than working full shift at Esprit standing for 10 hours.

Have to learn everything from scratch about how to audit a company. Lucky I have someone very patient to ask questions to and explain nicely in details for me. Seriously don't know how I can managed to survive through the whole week without him. I'm not very familiar with using excel or words and he still teaches and explains them a few times for me to understand and remember. HAHAHA. I admit I sucks in computer skills.

Now it's like doing POA non stop for 8 hours a day, from balance sheet to PandL to cash flow statement to taxation. Tedious and detailed work but time really flies. Not sure if I can disclose my working procedures here or job scope so I'll just roughly blog about my office life. Normally I will reached office around 8.45 and start working until lunch for 45 minutes and then until 6.30 or so before leaving. Every night, I'll just knock out in minutes. I'm still having the weekly tuition for my now pri 5 tutee every Saturday morning so I'll have to try to finish all my work on Friday so I don't have to go back on Saturday for OT.

Okay la, really don't feel like blogging about my work life so I'll jump to something everyone in Singapore is talking about - the haze. Today psi is getting better, just checked and it's 82. But they say it's because the wind changed direction but tomorrow it might blow back to Singapore again. Yesterday highest was 401 and that figure is really scary. Masks sold out all over Singapore and the air smelled so bad that you'll start feeling nauseous after breathing without mask for awhile. Every morning when I reached office, I stinked like the polluted air, from my bag to my hair. Hope Indonesia stop burning down their forest and we can have our fresh air back. Feel like going out to jog also can not. Tsk.

Anyway, there's something I'm trying to get used to besides the 9-6 working life and the haze, it's my braces. It's getting better now, as in not hurting me that much but I still can't eat anything that requires me to use my front teeth to bite. So I'm getting lighter every single day and I've lost around 2kg in just 1 week, without exercising. *thumb up

Finally done updating so byeee!!

My first plastic surgery.

Been wanting to do it ever since I'm 16, now finally I get to do to it on my ...

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 TEETH!!

Yes, I'm on braces now! Can't describe how happy, excited and pained I'm feeling all together since last last Sunday.

Went to extracted 2 teeth (one on my top right and one on my bottom left) last last Sunday and had my braces (only the front 8 teeth of both my top and bottom teeth, the back maybe in the next few months) installed last Saturday. Just counted I had 24 teeth now with 2 wisdom teeth on the top row but no wisdom teeth on the bottom. They're blocked and hopefully will not grow out till I die. So I googled and they say on average an adult will have 32 permanent teeth but even with the 2 I've extracted I only had 26 and plus 2 bottom wisdom teeth that's not in sight 28. I'm lacking of 4 more teeth? Hmmmm. Anybody have teeth as little as I had?

Anyway, not gonna show you all pic because personally I feel it's very crooked and unglam and that's a part of me I wanna hide. Maybe when I can take better pic then I'll show some. My sis chose blue and turquoise rubber bands for me on alternate teeth. Not sure what's the rubber thingy called but I call it the rubberband. Still not getting used to it but the pain is becoming more tolerable with every passing day.

Extracting of teeth is not that pain as I first expected but I was shivering from the air con or from the fear, I don't know which. The nurse had to secure my face with both her hands when the dentist extract my teeth VIOLENTLY. With the anesthetic, I didn't felt any pain but I could feel the the root of the tooth leaving my gums. It's a very odd feeling and er I don't like it! The wound is still not fully recovered and I can still see a little dried up blood till now. Ate porridge for the first 2 days and then I can eat normal food.

For the installation of braces, I closed my eyes throughout the whole process and this is what I recalled. Dentist first cleaned my teeth and called me to rinse my mouth after that and I spitted out some blue stuff that tasted salty. Not sure what was that. Then he 'stick' the metals on my teeth using glue as what meichyi told me since she went in with me to accompany me. It's painless but I can feel the metal sticking on to my teeth (it's the same type of feeling when the tooth leave my gums). Next, I get to choose the color(s) I want and he will use them to secure the metal wire that connect all my teeth to move them to the ideal position. Still painless up to now until that one tooth that is super crooked and very oddly positioned, dentist was trying to 'tie' the rubberband to it but he used so much force that I 'ARGH' out loud with all the stuff (I don't know what) in my mouth and immediately backed off from him and sinked deeper into the dental chair or whatever that's called. My body turned stiff and I'm trembling. He called me not to move and continued to apply force on my poor tooth, but it's seriously hurts so much that I teared automatically and shocked the nurse standing beside. Then I very paiseh and said' 我要哭了'when tears already flowing out like mad, so my sis and the nurse have to wipe them away for me and one drop even flowed into my opening mouth. wth. My sis keep saying '不痛不痛' and '要好了' till the dentist asked her '你怎么知道不痛?' Then my sis answered '因为痛的是他不是我.' See my sis very act smart hor? I literally rolled eyes at her but actually I was rolling eyes at the celling because I was lying down mah! HAHAHAHA. So after the very dramatic pain, every thing's done and I'm good to go. Next appointment is 6 weeks later, hope no more pain ok!!

First hour after installing the braces, felt no pain at all just uncomfortable with all the metal rubbing my inner lips and have a little trouble with how to speak without looking weird. Dentist advise me to put some wax on some of the metals so I won't have ulcers but the process of pressing in the wax is another round of pain! No choice but to do it to protect myself from ulcer attack.

Then after 2 hours, hell began. I thought I'm not going to suffer any pain so I bought KFC cheese fries and when I tried to have my first bite. It's hurt so badly that I almost screamed out. I don't know why it hurts so bad so I took out my pocket mirror and analyse what causes the pain. I think it might be because my top row of teeth is too out front and my bottom too inside, you know what I mean? So ya, when I tried to bite using my front teeth the top have to move backwards or the bottom have to move outwards to meet and bite but with braces installed, my jaw can't even move without feeling the pain. Well, it's not like I didn't try to use my back teeth, but the same thing happened, when the top teeth tried to bite down, it's hit the bottom and causes pain. Is the touch also can not touch type of pain.

So literally I can't eat anything that require chewing, including PORRIDGE. wtf? I tried one mouthful but only managed to swallow all the water from the porridge and left with rice in my mouth. Then, I told my mum I can't eat the porridge and showed her the remaining of the porridge in my mouth and she said whoa, 酱严重 meh.=.= 是的妈, 就是酱严重. So I've been drinking or eating mushroom soup, milk, hot chocolate, milo, mashed potato, hor fun soup for the past 3 days through closed jaw. For hor fun I have to use a metal spoon to 'chop' them into small small pieces so I can just swallow them down with the soup. Fluid food only, like a baby. I thought extracting of teeth is the most painful part of the process but I'm totally wrong, the pain of braces is 1000x worst than having blood flowing out from the extracted tooth wound.

On the first night, I didn't sleep well at all. Woke up at 3am and 7am, don't know why. I can't open my mouth wide or talk loudly. My jaws refused to open and I can only squeeze words out of my mouth with my jaws closed. Plus with the little food I consume, I really felt tired easily and suddenly had lots of cravings. Hokkien mee, pasta, koi, mcd, chocolates, ramen, curry rice .... OMG, I'm beginning to feel the emptiness in my stomach again. The tugging and pulling of the braces really makes my teeth felt very tight and pressurized till I can't even brush my teeth. When the toothbrush touches my teeth and even before I started brushing them, the pain is striking and I can't continue. Plus it's only the front teeth I'm talking about, I can't open my jaw big enough to brush my back teeth so in the end I just rinse them. LOL. Now I fully understand 爱美是要付出代价的. This dai jia is seriously fucking pain. Never in my life I've felt this degree of pain. It's like major menses cramp but it's happening in your mouth and the only period you won't feel the pain is when you're in a deep sleep. So it will bother you every minute, every second whenever you're breathing.

On the second night, I didn't sleep well again because I dreamt of something bad again. A woman with short hair was kneeling beside me on my bed and she was covering my mouth and suffocating me with her hands and I was paralyzed. I tried to scream but she's strong. I can't see her face as she had all the hair covering parts of her face plus it's dark and I'm panicking and struggling so I couldn't see properly. It's not the first time I dreamt of something was paralyzing me but it's the first time I managed to open my eyes and see what's pressing me down. Then suddenly I got freed and woke up, I was so tired that I just continue to close my eyes and try to fall back to sleep. But I can't and the image keep resurfacing so in the end I carried all my stuff and went to meichyi's room. When I opened the door, instead of seeing her sleeping on her bed, she was standing up in her dark room and I got taken aback that I forgot what's my reaction was. LOL. She told me she just finished watching her hk drama and was about to sleep now but she need to go to the toilet first. So I  told her about my nightmare and we sleep together. I'm so lucky to have her as a sister. Phew.

The pain become less torturous yesterday and I can open my jaws le! You don't know how happy I felt and it's like all the pain I suffered finally is going away. I still can't bite anything but at least there's no pain if I don't touch them. So I went to meet up with xianwen for a short chat after she finished her work, at the mcd beside her place and we update each other a little. She surprised me by giving me a Celine dustcap! Posted the pic on fb and IG so I won't be posting it here again. She's really super good to me till I don't know if I deserve it or not!! *cries! Laughed and talked with her so much till my jaws hurts again. LOL. Btw, they say your face will slim down when you had braces because it's supposed to pull all your teeth in and correct your jawline, but now my cheeks are so chubby (not say it's not chubby before but it's chubbier now) because they're kinda swollen. I looked so laughable on the first day. LOL.

Anyway, I've heard a lot of stuff on braces from xianwen and xiaoyuan (both of them still having their braces now. so glad I'm not alone) but when I experienced it first-handed, it still shocked me. xianwen didn't suffer much pain even for her first few days but I somehow suffered as much as xiaoyuan did, though from what I heard, mine was a little worst than her. My lips are constantly dry and I can't use my tongue to lick them as my jaw won't let them during the first 2 days. So had to use lip balm and they are very 'oily'.

Ever since I had my braces on, meichyi keep calling me to show her my teeth because she said it fascinating to see them and I look weird and so she can laugh at me. =.= Lucky I get to stay at home for another week before I go to work next Monday. Finally found a job position I truly think I will enjoy doing and I'm really happy. Didn't tweet recently about the job offer or the pain of braces because I thought of being low profile first for the job and the pain, I think the more I talk about it the harsher the pain will be. So now after the job offer had been confirmed and the pain is fading now, I'm blogging it with happiness!!

Okay, didn't intend to blog such a long blog but somehow when I'm typing it out it became such a detailed post. Hope it will help whoever that's going to have their braces done on what to expect, and good luck with the pain if you suffer any! LOL. Ohya, you can pay by installment but will have to pay a certain amount as deposit first. So that's all, byeeee!

Late update - Picnic day!

On last Friday at Marina Barrage with Xianwen. Read her blog for more details as I will only be blogging with photos.

 

Done!

 

Today's really a good, good day that makes me a happy girl. HAHAHAHAHA.

 

Ok, Byeeee!

Smoky girl, girl smoky.

Mblaq is back with smoky girl! The part where thunder keep repeating smoky girl smoky girl smoky girl, girl smoky girl smoky girl smoky, really makes me LOL. For me I think it's a little awkward to keep repeating the same lyrics over and over again without laughing.

Super in love with Thunder's pink hair and Seung Ho's blonde hair! Finally they can have bright color hair instead of the usual brown or black.

Well, anyway, I just received a good news today and I'm super happy!! I'l blog about it when everything is settled and confirmed.

Byeeeee.

chocolate-y day.



Not really in the mood to blog so I'm just gonna update a little on Wednesday 29/05/2013. Went Vivocity with xianwen to shop for suitable footwear for my future office job. Bought a pair of black wedges (approximately 1 inch) from Mitju that is even lesser than half of my initial budget! Well, GSS is just around the corner, I guess it's time to shop soon!! SALES SALES SALES! 

 

Okay, as you can see, I'm now back to dark brown hair, I look younger now with bangs and dark hair right? Right? No? No meh?

 

Since I bought the wedges in the first shop we entered, we had plenty of time to spare before xw go for her job interview. So we went to Max Brenner chocolate bar to chill for awhile. It's my first time there (as usual) and I'm just so happy to get to savor the thick and rich chocolate!  

 

Interior.



Our super thick chocolate drink, Pure Chocolate Truffle Granita - Milk Chocolate.

The must try definitely must eat Melting Chocolate Truffle Heart Cake & Shake.

Happy girl.



 We were really full when we sat down but after the melting chocolate cake arrived in front of us, we actually finished it within 3 minutes or so. Not exaggerating but both of us really are chocolate lovers. Totally can not resist the temptation at all. Once we started digging in, we won't stop until everything's inside our tummy.

Oh, I'm so sleepy now. I'll blog again soon about picnic day with xw today. Till then, byeeee!

Dark.

I'm at the far end of an underground train platform. It's a little dim here and there's just sufficient light for me to see every one standing near me but not to make out their face features. No one's talking and all I heard was the gusting sound of the passing wind behind me where the train track is. There were about 20 plus people standing around me but only 2 of them made their presence oblivious. They were wearing long black robes and their faces were covered. Obviously they were there to control and monitor us. The rest like me, were their victims, their preys.

I'm standing with my head down staring at my shoes. I'm surrounded by fear and I felt cold. I'm afraid of looking up to have eye contact with others that were standing around me. Something was telling me this wasn't right and I should run away but running away would cause a commotion too big for me to bear the consequences after that. So I remained at my position and closed my eyes to shut out this creepy feeling.

Then I felt some one squeezing my right hand, without opening my eyes, I know it was meichyi, she's standing beside me holding my hand all the while. She's scared too. And suddenly, something broke the silent air, the sound of the approaching train. This is it! The thing that we all had been dreading of! The train's coming! We turned to look at the train as it stopped abruptly in front of us. I'm starting to experience panic attack and I felt weak in the stomach. No body said a word when the train doors opened. I looked at the 2 silhouettes standing in the middle and started regretting it. They were urging us to enter the train quickly using simple gestures by pointing to the door repeatedly.

"I'm going to die!!" That's what I'm thinking over and over again. But I can not control my legs as they dragged my body towards the door. Meichyi and I were standing closest to the door so we had to enter first. After stepping in the slightly brighter cabin, I turned to my right and I saw my nightmare spreading out all the way to infinity. Besides the cabin I'm standing in, all the rest were dark, pitch black. People started to walked in and filled up the space and I wished the door will not closed and I'll be able to live longer. "I wanna leave now, I'm scared, let me go!!" I kept repeating this while staring horrified at the darkness that gonna swallow me up later.

After everyone stepped in, the train doors closed silently without mercy and with that, all of us were trapped and going towards hell. I'm tearing up now, I can't take it any more.

And then, I woke up.

Yes, I had a bad dream few weeks back. I dreamt of queuing up to die, together with meichyi and a few strangers. It's so scary that the first thing I did after I realised I'm on my bed, I jumped up and on my bedroom light, grabbed my pillow, blanket and phone, off my air-con and dashed over to meichyi's room. I just had to sleep with her, my heart kept beating vigorously and my mind's a blank. This had to be the worst nightmare I've ever dreamt of. It's not about ghosts, or monsters, it's the evil presence. I remembered every details and the fear of not being to do anything is just so overwhelming that I continued to tear even when I'm sleeping beside meichyi.

I guess I had a more happening 'life' in my dreams to compensate the dull life I'm living in reality. I'll blog more about my dreams. It's more interesting than my daily life. Okay, I'm going out soon to shop for office wear with xw. So byeeeee and happy holiday!