I've a lot of things I wanted to tell you, but inside me I know I shouldn't. I'm still afraid I might make you feel stress and pressure. There is still 2 months left. It is enough for me? No, no. Even forever is not enough. But there is nothing I can do. I can't ask for more time and I feel selfish to call you to leave with me. Ger~ I hate this bloody feeling.
Saw my friend blog and he post some thing bout his ex. Suddenly I realised when I lost you, I wanted you so badly that I, myself felt suprise too. But now when you're with me. I started to think some thing else. Some thing I won't bother to think about last time. What am I doing? What am I thinking? What I want and what I need is you. But what can I have? You? Yea, now but not in future. Am i being greedy for wanting more time with you? @@
I've got another friend who felt insecure with his gf. He is afraid of losing her just like I'm afraid of losing him. He told me his gf is still so young (17 this year) and when she graduate from her high school, she can find others better than him. (Ain't we all afraid of the unexpected future?) But I told him to put in more trust in her. A relationship should be a happy one, not a sad one full of suspicion. How come everyone can say things to others but not to our own self? I guess this is what people says easy to say but hard to do. Yeah. Believe her, believe him but can we really? I don't know. Trust him, believe him, but I'm scare of getting nothing in return. This hurts me more than anything. I just hope by the time he sees this, we'll be fine. Hmm. (We're fine now. I'm the one who thinks too much.) I know I must cherish you before I go to Sg, But somehow we both wonder is this the right thing to do? Maybe we should just continue with our own life. Noooo~ I don't want this I'm sure!! *sign*
I'm not going to coll tomorrow because my mum says she is lazy to fetch me to the lrt. == Fine. I'm lazy to go coll anyway. Great.
If you love me, show me.
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