One of my favourite songs nowadays.

藤井树-當冬夜漸暖



孫燕姿-當冬夜漸暖

But I like 孫燕姿 version more maybe it's because there's 宥勝. HAHAHA. Enjoy anw. (:

PS: The last 9 days!

Pretty nails.

Awwwww~ Makes me felt so loved!

Shhh. A picture speaks a thousand words. See my nails?! Oh, how I miss my tb hair style.

PS: Full credits to xianwen xiaojie! Totally love it!

PPS: Let me know if I ever cross your mind.

A trip back to 18 y/o.

Let all my thoughts rewind back to the time when I'm 18. Young but not energetic. I'm forever dull and dumb till now. HAHA.

After SPM that almost killed all my brain cells and that the sucky PLKN (national service in Msia. Army or whatever you called it) for 3 months (from Dec 07-Mar 08), I started my college life (Alevels) at Tarc with 2 of my besties. May intake, full of clever students unlike me. Took the sci combi which includes : Further Maths, Maths, Physics, Econs and GP. Stay in Setapak-PV6 for 2-3 months before shifting back home. Those few months staying there created a fresh new chapter in my life. Rented a room and share it with my 2 besties, living together with 7 other strangers (4 guys 3 girls) under 1 roof can be fun, exciting, and etc etc (you'll understand if you ever stay with friends before). HAHAHA. You won't want to know the whole story of how a girl live through her 6 months of stressful Alevels life right? So skipped off every details. But in the end, I gave up on Sci so I retake Alevels for the January intake but took the Arts combi this time : Econs, Maths, Accounting and GP. Much easier this time and guess what? I'm the CLASS REP. LOL LOL LOL! Long story about how I managed to became the useless class rep. Never know when class was canceled, never know when to hand in hw, never know where the classroom is, never know about any announcements and any tests date. But still, I managed to survive this 18 months of hell and now I'm a uni student.

3 years. 3 FREAKING YEARS. Time really flies. *thinking about my past again.

After 15 mins ...

Okay, done with all the flashbacks in my mind. Now back to blogging. Oh, went to JP Starbucks with xw and carmel today to revise. Quite productive, did 1 set of Stats past year. HAHAHA. No joke man, nowdays its getting harder and harder to concentrate on revising. Like now, I'm suppose to be revising but is blogging now. LMAO. Aiya, really gtg and start revising now, if not I'm gonna regret later, I'm so sure of it.

PS: I wonder if you're serious when you ask me that question that I took it as a joke.

Support my friend. 沈展宁.

The official MV.



The movie.

PS: He's the 男主角.

PPS: 我们的爱犯了什么错 不能向前 不能退后.

Spent more time thinking of a title than on the post itself, so untitled!

Alone searching for the right one.

Pon POA global lecture today. The lecturer is a Hongkonger and his voice is too monotone to keep me focus on his lecture. So yea, left halfway. Might not go school for his lecture tomorrow. He looked a bit gay though, with tight pants and slim legs. LOL.

Don't you think my eyes looked weird without wearing contacts? Seriously can not make it man! I need contacts! Heart my wavy hair! Random enough. Teehee!

PS: Girl, you're not alone.

Random day.

Hug, anyone?

Went for Econs local lecture today. Morning 8.30 as usual. After lec went JP and have lunch with my mum. Napped for 2 hours and watched Vampire Diaries season 2 while eating dinner. Now is almost 8pm and I still haven't start any revision. Siaaaaannnnnn! Gonna start doing Stats past year soon. Tomorrow class starts at 12pm. Gonna stay up later tonight to chiong my Stats.

PS: I felt happy today, no reason why though. :]

16 more days ...

to Finals.

*gulp. Had a heart-to-heart talk with my sis yesterday night. She reminds me of him when we're talking. All that heartaches that seem so long ago came back last night. I realised I'll still cry when I think of the past. The pain is unforgetable. But still, I'm glad it's all over now.

PS: Not everything is the more, the better. Including love.

I want to visit The Eiffel Tower before I die!

WOW! The 1000 foot tower. Wonder what will I see when I'm at the top of it?

The construction of the Eiffel Tower in France, 1900.

Can you imagine watching it as it get higher and higher?

Alexandre-Gustave Eiffel. The 53-year-old structural engineer was already appointed as France's "master builder in metal". December 15, 1832 – December 27, 1923 French structural engineer, architect, entrepreneur and specialist of metallic structures. Significant projects: Eiffel Tower, Structure for Statue of Liberty.

PS: My heart speaks the truth.

I'll find my own happiness.

I think I'm going to get train phobia very soon. Went back home by train yesterday and today. Clash with the peak hour on both day. Yesterday, just managed to squeeze in the train with xianwen, like tuna and I can't even look down and see my shoes. In this situation, I'm really lucky to have this height. If not, I don't even think I can breathe. And don't know what's wrong with the train today, just a stop distance of around 5 mins, it got delayed and it took at least 15-20 mins to reach the next station. It just stop there and keep announce that there's something wrong and they apologize for the delay. LOL. Plus the train keep jerking and swaying from left to right. Very scary! This is my first time got stucked in a train. Luckily I have xianwen with me, if not ... I can't imagine. ): I think I'm going to have Claustrophobia very soon. I'll panic inside me and I had to keep talking to stop myself from freaking myself out when I know I'm stuck in the train today. I think I started to have the fear of small space symptoms since I'm stucked in a jam for more than 2 hours. From then I've begun to fear of massive jam and sitting in the bus for long. I will felt as if I'm suffocating and I need to find something to distract me. I didn't know it was minor Claustrophobia until today. I thought I just hate to be in the jam, but now I know I cannot be in the jam. OMFG! Sounds so serious but I think I'm really suffering from this phobia. But is quite minor I think.

From Wikipedia: "Claustrophobia is typically thought to have two key symptoms: fear of restriction and fear of suffocation. A typical claustrophobic will fear restriction in at least one, if not several, of the following areas: small rooms, locked rooms, cars, tunnels, cellars, elevators, subway trains, caves, airplanes and crowded areas. Additionally, the fear of restriction can cause some claustrophobics to fear trivial matters such as sitting in a barber’s chair or waiting in line at a grocery store simply out of a fear of confinement to a single space.However, claustrophobics are not necessarily afraid of these areas themselves, but, rather, they fear what could happen to them should they become confined to an area. Often, when confined to an area, claustrophobics begin to fear suffocation, believing that there may be a lack of air in the area to which they are confined. Many claustrophobics remove clothing during attacks, believing it will relieve the symptoms. Any combination of the above symptoms can lead to severe panic attacks. However, most claustrophobics do everything in their power to avoid these situations. "

Maybe you may think I'm not that serious but I just realised I always ask someone 'how long will it takes to travel there?', 'will jam now ma?' when we're going somewhere by cab or bus. Did you realised? That's because I want to know how long I will need to stay in a small space. Shit! Sounds so serious suddenly. I think I'm afraid of sitting in the grand hall for long too. I just realised I didn't really want to give up my IBM and Econs during Prelims but I really don't feel like sitting in the hall for long. Even going for toilet will makes me feel better. At least I don't feel trapped. I need distractions to stop me from thinking that I'm in a enclosed area. Now I'm worried for my finals more. Hope I won't get freaked out and go out before I finished my paper. Shit shit shit!! Now I know why I always want to go to the toilet during jams or when I'm in the train. Because I need to escape the suffocating feeling. How am I going to travel to expo? *sigh. Gonna go with xianwen no matter what.

PS: This is a secret. Don't spread thanks.

Whatayya want from me?

He look cute with bangs! Don't you think so? *lovelove.

I PASSED PEEPS!

49/50! What more can I expect? HAHAHAHA.

Next is FTT (Final Theory Test a.k.a another theory test), pass that and practical then I've have a license and I can drive my dad's car!

And oh, I desperately need a BAG! Just found some nice tops in some blogshop! Bought 3 and I'm going broke soon.

Gtg, I need to revise Maths soon. HAHAHA.

PS: I'm a happy, happy girl. (:

I NEED LUCK!

Going to take my BTT tomorrow. * breathe in breathe out. For Msian : BTT (Basic theory test) is like undang test in Msia. But the passing marks is 45/50, unlike Msia 42/50 or is it 43?

So tonight I'll have to scarifice maths and read the BTT book again. I desperately need to pass la! I need a driving license here! I wanna drive! Didn't have the chance to drive in Msia even I've already had my driving license for 1 year ++ le. How sad. But after BTT there's FTT (Final theory test) then I'll get to take the practical test on the road. Sounds like a very long road ahead. *sigh!

PS: 说好的幸福呢?

Nothing lasts forever.

PS: I realised the longer I've wait, the lesser I want you. Bye love.

Looking back.

Perhaps I should really try one day before I leave this world.

PS: Everything have its ending but this is only the beginning.

...

Oh hey, I've been travelin' on this road too long

Just tryin' to find my way back home

But the old me's dead and gone

Dead and gone.

-Dead and gone.

Too many spammers.

So I removed my cbox. Irritating ttm.

Should be doing POA now but the mood to revise is gone. Gonna wait till guilt find me then I'll start again. So now I'll just slack around and waste time.

PS: You're not alone. I am.

I'm amazed that I'm still awake now.

HAHAHA. Listening to an old song and thinking about my past again. Just watched Taiwan drama that's why I'm still awake at this time. Hmm. Feeling random gonna say this out. Glad I have you as a friend that I can share my feeling with. Even though is not all my deepest feeling but still, you make my life in Sg much better. But I doubt you will see this post. LOL. Thanks carmel, for being my listener and for trusting me and tell me everything that you're feeling. Got to sleep now. Mad sleepy.

PS: I love my life.

PPS: You gave me a surprise that had me thinking for few nights before sleeping. Wondering what you meant by that. But I guess I will never know why.

What kind of genius would let perfection go?

PS: When can I stop having dreams about you?

I fall and cry ...

But I'll stand up by my own and be stronger.


"Watch me do it babe." I'll show you the wenqi you never know.

PS: Got back my POA and Stats Prelims result. Quite disappointed.

But at least its a major pass for both papers.

I was trying to start on my poa when ...

I heard this song from my mp3. Then tears flow down suddenly and I can't help it. The feeling attack me from inside that cause pain to my heart. This familiar feeling. How scary.

PS: Its just the lyrics not that some one.

There's a lot of thinking in my brain now ...

But I just can't find the right words to express it out. Should start doing POA now but with all the thinking in my mind, I can't concentrate. Thus this random blog post. If you think I'm going to pour everything out in this post, then you're wrong. I always keep stuffs inside me than telling out. No one can solve my own problems except myself. No point telling out and make everyone as miserable as me. But still, I'm a very good listener. Tell me everything babe! OH. Saw his fb photo just now. There's one pic that makes me look at it for more than 5 mins thinking bout our past. It's a photo of a perfume I gave him on his birthday 2 years ago. I would rather starve and save the money on him but now I think that was really way too stupid. wth was I thinking that time. 2 years ago when I was 19, I should have know we won't last. Well, no one really know the future. But I was certain we doesn't have any. LOL. Still ... *sigh. Glad I've being writing diary since I was 14 till now. Every time I looked back at my past, I know I'm growing up and becoming mature. All the idiot things I've did seem so carefree and fun. Can't do that now. Miss those days when we ran in the rain and play water fight. I'm still thinking of my past while I'm blogging this. I've lived for 20 ++ years and there's a lot of memories that still makes me smile or LOL. I wonder if I can remember all these when I'm old, perhaps when I'm 50, 60, 70 or 80. I don't wanna forget any of my past. Opps, a random post have became a long post now. Gtg le. POA screaming for me. Bye.

PS: Will there be something that will remind you of me?

Untitled.

Went Woodlands today to revise POA with carmel, peggy and zhi ping. Very productive as we were studying in the library. Can't chat a loud so we just concentrate doing POA. Heard that POA Prelims result reached school today. Really hope I can score well. If not. *sigh. Just realised its been some time since I blogged about my daily life. Doesn't seem to find the words to blog recently. Would rather wrote everything in to my diary and lock it up so that I know its safe in the locker. LOL. Anyway, just a short update. I'm going to sleep soon. Seriously both mental and physical me is tired. 5 hours of POA. Brain almost stop functioning now. Byebye readers.

PS: If I had you.

I'm lost in my own world.

I walked around trying to find a place where I can camouflage in without anyone realised I'm the extra one. I'm still finding, still searching ...

PS: DON'T ASSUME ANYTHING. THANKS.

Lame people do lame things.

Suddenly got the urge to badmouth people. Seldom do that in my blog but can't tahan it anymore. LOL. Hates people who ask stupid question and test my patient. Hates people who judge me by what I said and thinks badly of me. It's like wth? As if you're very great or flawless? Everyone have their own past and history right? Who never make mistake at all? Can't we just forgive and forget? Before you criticize others, why don't take a look at yourself and see if you're badmouthing yourself without you realising? Sometimes I really want to scream at them and say: HELLO? YOU THINK YOU NOT DOING THAT (the stuffs they complain about others) MEH? STILL SAY OTHER PEOPLE! But too bad in reality I'll never have the gut to say that. *sigh.

Sometimes I would rather keep everything inside me than telling it out and let them became swords that people use to stab my heart again. I may look like a happy girl from the outside but actually sometime I'm not happy at all. I have many stories in my life and mostly ended up becoming sad endings. Every time I think of them, it still hurt a bit but I know they will fade as time passes by. And every time I post emo status, people will ask and pretend to console me but actually I know they don't really care about my feelings (I mean some, not all. I still have friends that really cares *glad). They just wanna know what happen so that they can gossip behind my back and share the joke with their so-called friends during their lunch or dinner together. Why can't we just live in peace and stop hurting each other?

PS: I'm not refering to anyone in particular. If you think I'm talking about you, PLEASE REFLECT YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR THEN.

PPS: I know I'm not a perfect girl but at least I'm not a bad girl or I'm trying not to be. HAHAHA. (: